Texts From Last Night

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(515): View more from Iowa

Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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(515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

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(218): Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young? http://tfl.nu/34pp

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I just put wine in my tea

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(651): Well I just put wine in my tea http://tfl.nu/sol7

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(541): View more from Oregon

People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.

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(541): People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized. http://tfl.nu/aj4f

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.

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(615): Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast. http://tfl.nu/ki2v

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(678): View more from Georgia

The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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(678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7

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(214): View more from Texas

In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.

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(214): In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman. http://tfl.nu/e6dh

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.

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(262): My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels. http://tfl.nu/4t4s

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(760): View more from California

And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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(760): And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning http://tfl.nu/27ss

Replies (1) Good night (259) Bad night (68)
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(760): View more from California

I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

(951): View more from California

Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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(760): I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire. (951): Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped http://tfl.nu/trsg

Replies (2) Good night (105) Bad night (154)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.

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(505): Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis. http://tfl.nu/t3p3

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(+61): View more from Australia

I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.

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(+61): I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad. http://tfl.nu/47hi

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on

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(405): Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on http://tfl.nu/n0jv

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(925): View more from California

I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.

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(925): I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea. http://tfl.nu/uulw

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(734): View more from Michigan

Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him

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(734): Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him http://tfl.nu/qq0a

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