is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize