she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired