GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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