Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
