i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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