new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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