Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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