why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
