Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
