yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
