Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
