oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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