yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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