I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
