Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I believe in your delicious
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
