Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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