guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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