I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
