I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
