i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
