Yo dont text me then not text me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
