take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
