I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
