Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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