She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
