this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
