Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
