No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
