clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
