I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
