Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.