You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
