I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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