Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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