She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
there is another microwave in the elevator.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
