it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
