community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My dick has a subreddit
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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