Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
