East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
