I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
