all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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