DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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