i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
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The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?