new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.