Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
