Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
