I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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