her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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