Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
