there were more penises there than on chat roulette
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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