ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
