This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
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Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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