I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
