We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
