I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
